When you hear the word divorce, the last thing on your mind is perks, as if your divorce is like a benefits package you receive from work. Whether you called for the divorce or you’re on the receiving end of the divorce, it’s certainly the beginning to an end.
Now that you know a divorce is in your future, you’re going to have to go through the process of getting yourself ready for the divorce. You’ll need to grieve, seek legal counseling, and lean on your friends and family for emotional support.
Marriage is Forever – Until It’s Not
A lot of the times, getting a divorce isn’t such a big shock for couples. The signs that a marriage is on the rocks are sometimes in plain sight, but we choose to ignore those signs. According to the American Psychological Association, out of the 90 percent of people who get married, 40-50 percent of those marriages end in divorce.
One is the Loneliest Number
In your newly found “singledom,” you have no clue what’s next for you. You have all these negative thoughts floating around in your head wondering if you will ever find love again. To be honest, being single can be scary after a divorce, but it’s not the end of the world either. In fact, your divorce might be the best thing that could have happened to you.
You’re No Longer Lonely
Psychology Today states that 62.5% of people feel lonely in their marriage. The moral of this story is that you don’t have to be single to feel lonely. You can feel lonely in all types of social situations, whether you’re with friends, family, or in a marriage… the missing link is the connection between one another.
You now have the freedom to be by yourself and enjoy your own company. That’s definitely better than being in the same room as someone who is supposed to love you and have nothing to talk about.
Your Self-Confidence is Boosted
When you’re in an unhappy marriage, it’s not uncommon for your confidence levels to drop. Communication has probably decreased, there’s no intimacy, and you may have physically let yourself go. At that point, you’re at rock bottom and can only go up from there.
It’s during this time that you realize that in order to feel good about yourself, it would need to come from within. You don’t need your happiness to be validated by anyone but yourself. This is when your focus shifts to you and you start living for you!
Learn a New Skill
This is a great opportunity to work in a weak area that you are lacking confidence in. Whether it’s taking a cooking class, or joining a social group to brush up on your capabilities to stir up a conversation, both are ways to improve weaknesses in your life.
The fact that you survived your divorce and lived to tell about it, says a lot about your strength… you should be rewarded for it. Whether it’s treating your overall health to a personal trainer or treating yourself to a day at the spa, do something for yourself that you know you will truly appreciate.
You’ve survived your divorce… that doesn’t make you an expert or mean that you necessarily want to relive that whole process. But, through your process, you can inspire and help others going through that same process. Sometimes helping others can give you peace with your own situation and essentially help you through the process as well.
You See a Brighter Future for Yourself
Being that you no longer have your significant other, you see your future in a different light. When you were married, you probably had visions of what it would be like to live at home with just you and your spouse after the kids went off to college.
Now, the visions of your future look a little bit different. Being that it’s just you now, you have more freedom… not to say that you didn’t while you were married but it’s just different. Your future is full of all kinds of possibilities. You have the options to:
- Go to (or back) to school
- Travel the world
- Explore a second chance at love
- Work on your revenge body
You Get to Be a Little Selfish
After a divorce, you get to focus a lot more of your time on yourself. If you want to grab takeout, you can grab it solely for yourself… How many times during your marriage were you ever able to buy something just for yourself? Not too often, so go ahead and be a little selfish… you deserve it!
Best Buds with Your Ex?
As crazy as it may sound, people who were unhappily married become really good friends after they are divorced. It’s one of those things where a couple is like oil and water while they’re married, but after a divorce, they get along like best friends! For a lot of couples, that’s how they started out in the first place.
Now, that’s not the case for all divorcees but it does happen in some cases. Studies have shown that in a lot of divorces, regardless of what negatively transpired in the marriage, the love never really dies.